This Little Kid Watched “Pair-A-Sites” and Now She’s the Boss of Everyone (She Is Six)

A child narrator retells Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite through innocent logic and genuine emotion — and somehow nails it. Read the funniest, most oddly moving film review online.

There are films that reward multiple viewings. And then there are films best explained by someone who cannot yet tie their own shoes but will absolutely tell you what everyone did wrong. Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite has survived many interpretations. It has not survived Destiny.

NARRATOR ID CARD

Name: Destiny Renee Calloway | Age: 6 | Gender: Girl

Location: Decatur, Georgia (just off Memorial Drive, near the Waffle House she is not allowed to go in alone)

The Movie (As Told By Me)

okay so LISTEN. the movie is called Pair-A-Sites and I thought it was gonna be about bugs cuz we learned about bugs at school but Miss Yvonne was NOT gonna tell us this kind of bugs lemme just say THAT right now.

so first there’s this family and they live in a basement and it’s real sad but also kinda cool cuz the toilet is up HIGH like on a little step and I don’t know why but daddy said it’s cuz of the water and I said what water and he said go back to watching and I said DADDY but he said Destiny and then I stopped.

the family is the daddy Ki-Taek, and I’mma call him Big Daddy even tho that’s not his name cuz he looks like someone’s big daddy, and then there’s the mama who is very strong I can tell, and then the son Kee-woo, and the daughter Jessica — okay wait her name is not Jessica I KNOW that but I keep forgetting the real name so she’s Jessica now she don’t mind.

so Big Daddy’s whole family don’t got jobs and they trying to fold pizza boxes but they keepp doing it wrong and I could of done it way better cuz I fold stuff all the time. I fold my paper at school, I fold my blanket sometimes, I’m real good at folding. nobody asked me tho.

[my sock is falling off — okay wait okay it’s fine]

and then Kee-woo’s friend comes over and gives him a rock and I was like WHY does he want a rock, rocks is free, you can get rocks ANYwhere, there’s rocks right outside, I got a rock collection and I got ALL of mine for FREE from the creek behind Grandma Ruthie’s house and one of them has a sparkle in it and that one is my best rock. but they act like this rock is VERY special so okay fine. the rock matters. I’m watching the rock.

so Kee-woo goes to this RICH family’s big house to be a teacher for their daughter and he pretend he went to college but he DIDN’T and I know that’s lying and lying is wrong but also —

…hmm.

okay actually I lied one time and said I read my library book but I didn’t and Mrs. Kaminsky believed me so maybe lying is just something everybody does I don’t know. but still.

the rich family is the Parks and their house is SO big. they got a yard that goes UP like stairs, grass stairs, and I told my daddy I want grass stairs and he said we barely got grass and that’s true we do got a bald spot by the fence.

okay so then HERE’S where it gets good. you listening? why you makin that face, it’s not complicated, just listen —

Jessica, she gets her brother Kee-woo a job and then they make up a plan to get the WHOLE family jobs in the rich house and they do it by being sneaky and I’m not gonna say it’s smart cuz lying is wrong BUT it WAS a lotta steps and I can’t even remember all my spelling words so.

the way they get rid of the other workers is — okay so Jessica makes the old housekeeper lady look like she got peaches all on her face. it was NOT peaches, daddy told me it was something else, but it LOOKED like peaches the bumpy kind and the rich mama got real scared and sent her away. and I felt BAD for the housekeeper cuz that wasn’t nice but ALSO her face did look kinda like the texture of a peach and I don’t like peach texture, I only like peach FLAVOR, there’s a difference and people don’t listen when I say that.

peach texture is the problem. I keep thinking about it. it’s bumpy in a bad way.

the housekeeper goes away and then Big Daddy becomes the driver and the mama becomes the new housekeeper and the whole family is working in the rich house but the rich family don’t KNOW they a family and I was like somebody’s gonna find out, somebody always finds out, cuz that’s what happens when you watch TV with daddy — somebody ALWAYS finds out.

wait — did I say the old housekeeper went away? cuz actually she comes BACK. she comes back in the night and she’s banging on the door and I hid a little bit behind the pillow cuz her face was still kinda scary and also she was crying and when grown-ups cry it’s scarier than when kids cry cuz grown-ups aren’t supposed to.

and then — OKAY. this is where I had to ask daddy if we could pause a minute cuz I wasn’t ready —

there is a WHOLE OTHER PERSON living in the basement of the rich house and he’s the housekeeper’s husband and he been down there a LONG time and he got a little light and he go beep beep beep when the rich daddy comes home and I don’t know exactly why but I know it’s not good. I know because my teacher told us something about people living in walls one time but she wasn’t supposed to say it at school.

so NOW there’s like two secret families in this one house and the rock is still around somewhere and I’m real worried about the rock.

this is my favorite part right HERE —

the rich family decides to go camping cuz it’s raining and Big Daddy’s whole family sneaks into the big house and they eat the food and drink the juice and lay on the nice couch and I thought GOOD. share. you got too much stuff anyway. and they all just layin there real happy and it made me feel happy too like when all of us pile in mama’s bed on Saturday morning except nobody in this movie got a mama with good-smelling lotion like my mama does.

then the housekeeper comes back in the RAIN. with her husband from the basement.

and I said out loud — I said “NO! Don’t do that! Don’t open the door! That is a bad idea! DADDY WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING TO ME” — and daddy said Destiny use your inside voice and I said daddy there is a EMERGENCY happening right now.

[he gave me a juice box tho so I calmed down some]

the housekeeper-husband is not nice. he’s real not nice. and then the rich family comes home early cuz the tent got wet and EVERYBODY is trying to hide and the son has to go under the coffee table and I would NOT go under a coffee table cuz there’s always stuff under there, crumbs and fuzz and once I found something under grandma’s table that I still don’t know what it was.

and then — okay I don’t wanna say too much about the end cuz it got very scary and a lil bit sad and I did cover my eyes for a part and I’m not saying which part cuz I don’t wanna think about it but —

somebody got hurt bad. and it wasn’t who I thought. and I was really worried about the rock this whole time and the rock was fine but some people weren’t and that didn’t seem fair.

Big Daddy does something at the end. he does something real serious. and I understand why he did it but also I think — I think maybe if somebody had just SHARED at the beginning, like if the rich family had just said here you can come live in a room, we got extra rooms, I COUNTED they got extra rooms — then maybe none of the bad stuff woulda happened? cuz that’s what we learn at school. sharing stops problems. that’s literally a rule.

Kee-woo writes Big Daddy a letter at the end. and he gonna save up money and buy the house so Big Daddy can come out. and I REALLY hope he does it. I think he does it. daddy said we don’t know but I think he does it because — I just think he does it okay. I need him to do it.

the rock goes away somewhere. I don’t remember exactly where but I think Kee-woo had it. he had it right? I’m pretty sure he had it. he had it.

My Favorite Part

When the whole family was on the couch eating the fancy food. That part. That was nice. Before everything got bad. I like that part the most. This is my favorite part. Also when Jessica was being smart and I didn’t know she was gonna do that. That was also my favorite part. I got two favorite parts that’s allowed.

Kid Rating

Fun: 🌟🌟🌟 (it’s not FUN fun but it’s the kind where you can’t stop watching)
Scary: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (very. very scary. I’m fine tho)
Cool Stuff: 🌟🌟🌟🌟 (the house is SO cool and I want the yard)
Sounds: 🌟🌟🌟 (it rains real loud and I noticed)
Animals: 🌟 (there was a dog for like a second and then no more dog and that was rude)
Colors: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (the grey rainy parts and also the very green yard, very green)

OVERALL: four and a half stars and a peach sticker but not a real peach because of the texture

Kid Moral

If you got extra rooms you should let people use them because that is just nice and also it prevents a lot of problems. Rocks are important so you should always know where your rock is.

Actual Plot in One Sentence

A family with no money tricks their way into working for a family with lots of money, but a secret in the basement makes everything go terrible and sad and complicated in ways I mostly understood.

Cinephile Wink

Bong Joon-ho builds the entire film around vertical space — who lives above, who lives below — and lets the architecture of class inequality do more thematic work than any single line of dialogue. Destiny noticed the yard went up like stairs. She wasn’t wrong about anything, actually.

Outro

We solemnly present the most structurally coherent analysis Parasite has received from anyone currently missing a lateral incisor, delivered with the unshakeable authority of someone who has strong opinions about peach texture and genuinely believes sharing is, in fact, the solution Bong Joon-ho was looking for.

No actual children were subjected to Palme d’Or-winning Korean cinema as part of this production. Destiny Renee Calloway is entirely fictional, though her conviction that she could solve class struggle with better sharing habits is, arguably, more optimistic than anything found in academic film discourse. Every great story passes through imagination before it becomes understanding — and sometimes the most honest interpretation arrives wearing mismatched socks. The rock mattered. It always matters. — The Cine Sage