We Prosecuted John Wick for All 439 Kills. His Sentence: 878 Life Terms and One Very Confused Parole Board.
We ran the federal statutes on John Wick’s 439 kills. Verdict: 878 life sentences, $100M in fines, and the pencil counts as a weapon. Legally accurate. Absurdly funny. The People v. Jonathan “John” Wick: A Federal Prosecutor’s Wet Dream How America’s Favorite Assassin Violated Literally Every Law We Have (And a Few We Forgot About)…